UU Mormon

Posts Tagged ‘guilt

Some of the things about church that give me the most joy lately are the little things.  Like… a couple weeks ago the weather was cold and wet and nasty and I wanted to wear jeans and boots and a fuzzy sweater. And I could.   Normally I try not to wear my everyday clothes to church — I’ll at least wear a blouse with buttons instead of a t-shirt and pants that aren’t jeans — but when my feet are cold enough that I want hiking-type boots and thick wool socks, well, that’s okay.  I won’t feel out of place and it’s not a sin.

My life is at a sort of stressful place right now and I decided that this school year I was going to cut back on volunteer work and focus on a small set of activities that are important to me.  There are a few billion volunteer opportunities at church, and some things that I might like to get involved in at some point, but if right now I feel like I can’t do that, it’s okay.  It’s not a sin.

Last week after I got my son to his class I seriously considered not going into the worship service.  I hate being late, and the worship service at this church has a much greater sense of the sacred than an LDS Sacrament Meeting, so you can’t just wander in and out like people do at an LDS ward.  During almost every part of it it would be like walking in during the sacrament itself.  So I considered sitting outside and listening to it on the intercom or even — I can’t believe I considered this — reading a totally non-church-related book. I didn’t, but I could have, and it would have been okay.  Skipping my meeting and reading a book wouldn’t have been a sin!

These things keep popping up and surprising me.  Can’t quite believe how many opportunities to feel inadequate I’ve lost here.

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